Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Need a Critical Mass

I've posted before that my needs aren't being met by my city. I have a short list of needs that shouldn't be hard to fulfill, but I just can't find them.

I have decided that what I need is a critical mass. I'm okay with living in a town that contains rednecks, trash, and other forcefully ignorant people. What I need is just enough of the other kind of people that it's not certain that everyone I talk to in a single day is going to suck.

I sit at my desk in my cubicle, and people call me with questions and complaints. My company sells diet pills, and I'm in customer service. I get calls from people who want to know if our pills will help them lose 15 pounds in the two weeks before they go to Baja. The honest answer is, no. The only thing that will help you lose that weight is if you put down the Doritos and go for a walk, and it will take at least as long to lose the weight as it took your fat ass to put it on.

I get people who call to return the pills because they have to take three of them a day, and they're so big. I do harder things before breakfast every day than take a few friggin' pills. If I managed to make it to adulthood and I couldn't manage to do something as simple as take three pills a day, I would be ashamed of myself.

I can't tell these people any of this, because I would lose my sucky job.

So, what I need is at least as many people in my life that are capable of thinking about the distant future and recognizing all the other people out there as also human.

I'm not sure I'll find that in Barstow.


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  2. Knoxville! Knoxville! Knoxville!

    "Where Science and Nature Meet." And Science bitch-slaps Nature, wrestles Her to the ground, and has His Way with Her.

    Knoxville! Knoxville! Knoxville!