Friday, September 25, 2009

More Flesh-Eating Technology

Wow! A lamp that runs on your own blood. Or someone else's.

Choose Your Apocalypse...Online!

This is it, folks. The apocalypse watch has gone interactive:

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Old Yeller, Part Deux

Yesterday I posted a blog entry about Old Yeller themed dogfood. To recap, this is dogfood themed around a Disney movie in which a young boy's beloved dog contracts rabies and the boy has to shoot it.

I have been fishing around on the internet to see if anyone else is outraged, and I discovered a lot of people back in the 2007 tainted petfood incident blamed this particular brand of dogfood on their dogs suddenly dying. Who knew?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

"It's my dog, I'll do it."

I was shopping at the local supermarket last night at 3am. (My wife's out of town, so I rented an Xbox360 and I'm staying up all night.) When I walked down the petfood aisle, I noticed that they had Disney-themed petfood.

The catfood was themed around The Aristocrats, a cartoon about cats that we thankfully haven't been forced to watch since the 80's.

The dogfood... The dogfood was Old Yeller themed.

For those of you not familiar with this gem, Old Yeller was a live-action movie about a boy and his dog named "Old Yeller." At the end of the movie, Old Yeller contracts rabies, and the boy has to shoot his own dog. THE END.

Does anyone else see the inherent issue of poor taste?

Friday, September 11, 2009

What Happened to "Natural Causes?"

Gertrude Baines, the oldest woman alive, died today. She lived to the age of 115 on a steady diet of ice cream, fried chicken, and bacon.

Here's the kicker: They think she died of a heart attack, but they won't be sure until after the autopsy.

Excuse me? Did she die under suspicious circumstances? She was 115 friggin' years old, for goodness sake. What could we possibly need an autopsy for, except perhaps to find out how she lived so long?

My grandparents all died of old age.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Public Opinion: Here are your Choices

Here are the two opinions you are allowed to have on the healthcare reform issue:

a) Government-controlled health insurance is good. People need it.
b) Government-controlled health insurance is bad. It's socialism. It's not capitalistic.

Here is an opinion that is apparently not allowed, even on NPR:

Health insurance is part of the problem.
Health insurance is not capitalistic at all. Medicine cannot work on capitalistic principles because the consumers cannot freely choose not to buy. Health insurance means that the patient is not the consumer.
Pharmaceutical companies can freely charge 3,000% markups on their products, and it doesn't even matter if the products work.

This opinion is not on your list of options. Here are your options again:

a) The government should tax you more and give the money to the health insurance/prharmaceutical companies.

b) If you cannot afford to give money to these companies, you should die.

Death lists! Boogy Boogy! Socialism! Lining up for days to buy single-ply toilet paper!